The Role of a Youth Coaches: Shaping More Than Just Athletes
I may upset some people with this, but it’s been weighing on me for a long time, and I’ve shared it in both professional and personal conversations. If you’re a youth coach, particularly in sports, and you’re chipping away at a player’s confidence, self-worth, or sense of belonging, then, no matter how many wins you stack up or how many trophies fill your shelves, you’re missing the essence of what it means to be a coach.
Coaching is about more than tactics, victories, and standout athletes. The foundational role of a coach — especially for young athletes — is to meet each player where they are, build them up, and help them become the best version of themselves. And that growth should extend beyond the game into life. In my own journey, working with and observing nearly 100 coaches over the years, I estimate only 10% of them excel in this critical role. The other 90%? They’re falling short, yet many parents, athletes, and even the coaching community accept this as the “norm.” But should we?
The Impact of Coaching on Youth Development
Coaches wield significant influence over young athletes. In the United States alone, around 45 million children participate in organized youth sports. Youth coaches have the power to build resilience, self-confidence, teamwork, and discipline — traits that serve individuals well beyond the playing field. However, rather than fostering positive experiences, too many coaches remain narrowly focused on performance and victories. This often comes at the cost of players’ emotional and mental well-being.
The data backs this up: studies show that 70% of youth athletes quit sports by age 13, and the reasons are sobering. According to the Aspen Institute’s Project Play, children often quit due to burnout, lack of enjoyment, and pressure to perform. In a TrueSport survey, 77% of young athletes reported that their confidence was directly impacted by their coach’s attitude. When coaches are hyper-focused on outcomes rather than player development, children end up losing much more than they gain.
Parents Are Noticing — and They’re Concerned
Parents are increasingly aware of the disconnect between what youth sports should be and what they often become. A survey by the National Alliance for Youth Sports shows that 60% of parents feel coaches don’t prioritize teaching life skills. The lessons sports can teach — discipline, growth, handling wins and losses, teamwork, and leadership — are invaluable. However, too often, these qualities are overshadowed by a “win at all costs” mentality.
Take my own experience observing youth coaches across various sports. The difference between a coach who focuses on building players up versus one who focuses on winning at any cost is striking. One coach might spend time encouraging every player, regardless of skill level, while another may only interact with “star” players, creating an unbalanced, demotivating environment for everyone else.
When Coaching Becomes Harmful
To understand the real-life impact of poor coaching, consider the case of Doe v. Anderson Community Schools in 2013. In this case, a high school coach was accused of verbally abusing players, demoralizing them to the point of severe emotional distress. While the court ultimately dismissed the suit due to a lack of physical evidence, the case highlights a disturbing reality: some coaches create hostile environments that harm young athletes rather than help them grow.
Though extreme, cases like this shed light on the often-hidden emotional and psychological toll of poor coaching. With this understanding, it’s not surprising that nearly 8 in 10 young athletes feel their confidence is impacted by their coach’s behavior. And yet, the only accountability mechanism for many coaches is parent or player feedback, which isn’t always enough.
Why Not a “Yelp” for Youth Coaches?
If coaches are expected to shape future leaders, thinkers, and citizens, why aren’t there tools to assess how well they’re doing it? Think about it: we have Glassdoor to review workplaces, Yelp for restaurants, and social media platforms for nearly everything else. A feedback platform for youth coaches would allow parents, athletes, and even other coaches to highlight strengths, identify weaknesses, and help everyone make better-informed decisions.
Imagine if we could celebrate the coaches who consistently build their players up, hold accountable those who create negative environments, and give guidance to those seeking improvement. Such a platform wouldn’t just serve parents and athletes — it would elevate the coaching community by setting standards and expectations aligned with the true role of a youth coach.
Moving Toward Better Standards in Youth Coaching
Youth coaches are shaping much more than athletes; they’re nurturing future professionals, leaders, and thinkers. If we’re entrusting them with this responsibility, we must hold them to a higher standard — one that prioritizes the well-being, growth, and confidence of every young athlete.
If you’re a coach reading this, take a moment to evaluate your approach. Are you building your players up? Are you helping them become the best versions of themselves, both on and off the field? Are you equipping them with the skills and confidence they need to succeed not just in sports but in life?
Acknowledging the Role of Parents
It’s also important to acknowledge that coaches are not solely to blame when youth sports become a negative experience. Parents can have a significant impact — sometimes unwittingly — on the pressure, expectations, and self-esteem of young athletes. Many parents mean well, but when they overemphasize winning or set high expectations, they may contribute to the stress children feel. This piece is specifically about the role of coaches, but let’s not forget the influence of parents in shaping young athletes’ experience and attitudes.
To Parents and Athletes: Don’t settle for subpar coaching. Demand better. Ask questions, observe practices, and, most importantly, communicate with your kids. A child’s experience with a coach can shape their relationship with sports and their self-esteem for years to come.
To Coaches: Your role goes beyond the score or the standings. True success lies in the legacy you leave in the lives of the young people you coach. It’s time to focus on building up players, instilling confidence, and providing them with the skills to face life’s challenges.
Sports are more than a game — they’re a journey, a learning experience, and an opportunity to grow. And in that journey, coaches should be the guiding force, lifting players up and inspiring them to reach their full potential. Let’s make that the standard, not the exception.
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